It was a seriously cold day. The wind blowing east towards Hell was arctic. It isn't meant to be like this he thought, Hell, you know, hot, infernal, scorching. Instead it was like mid-winter in Yellow Knife, minus 40 or so. He really wasn't dressed for it.
Shit, he muttered, why had she managed to go and get herself banished here. He looked again at the gates, great black things made of some kind of metal a bit like wrought iron (back home in the material world), with all kinds of fantastical shapes and creatures crafted onto them, reminding him unpleasantly of insects caught in some giant spiders web.
Better not be me he muttered. Kind of beautiful though; he had to admire the craftworking.
Why had she come here, oh yeah that's right because of him. If he hadn't picked up that blade back on, where was it, somewhere out near the dark moon of Aldebaran IV. And if he then hadn't gone on to use it defending both of them against the Thearian guardians. And if he hadn't killed 2 of them, thus incurring an ancient debt to the keeper of the sword. Well there wasn't a great deal of point thinking about that now, was there? He had to go in there and get her out. Leaving her there wasn't an option, was it? No. She'd kill him if she even thought that he had asked that. OK well probably going to die either way, he reckoned.
Looked a hell of a lot easier to get in than he expected, he snorted. Haha. Not so easy to get out one imagined.
He set off towards the gates. Hopefully it would at least be warmer inside.
As he got closer he could see a small person sitting just inside the right hand gate. Reading a book. Oh for gods sakes. Looking more closely he could see it was The Call of Cthulhu by HP Lovecraft. What was this, some kind of movie set? "Isn't that a bit of cliche, reading that here?", he said. "Next I'll be expecting to see Dante...." "he's downstairs on level 2", the gatekeeper interrupted. "Still painting but with a bit more realism these days. You're expected".
"Expected? What, by Dante?" he quipped. "Haha, funny guy" was the reply. "Beelzelbub, who else?" "Oh Great", Timon thought to himself, "Just the demon I least wished to see. Again".